Time Management for UPSC Prelims 2024: A Guide for the Chronically Confused (and Procrastinators)

Note: The entirety of this article adopts a sarcastic tone. Therefore, it is imperative to read between the lines in order to grasp the underlying message.

Hey aspirants, buckle up for a dose of reality (with a sprinkle of sarcasm, because who needs more stress, right?). We’re all hurtling towards UPSC Prelims 2024, and let’s be honest, time management is about as elusive as a decent Wi-Fi connection in a hostel. But fear not, fellow sleep-deprived comrades, for this article is your beacon in the chaos.

Step 1: Embrace the Delusion of Time Abundance.

First things first, convince yourself that 24 hours is actually 48 with a side of “just one more episode” of your favorite show. Seriously, who needs sleep when you have dreams of cracking the exam? Just remember, the caffeine-fueled hallucinations are optional (and probably not UPSC-approved).

Step 2: Master the Art of Selective Amnesia.

Remember that NCERT you swore you’d read last week? Poof, vanished into the Bermuda Triangle of your brain. Don’t worry, it’s all part of the strategic prioritization process (read: ignoring what you don’t feel like doing). Just focus on the shiny new topic that caught your fancy, because who needs a strong foundation anyway?

Step 3: Channel Your Inner Social Butterfly.

Forget the “study alone in a cave” myth. Libraries are for socializing, right? Gather your fellow aspirants, swap gossip about current affairs (bonus points for mispronouncing acronyms), and discuss the latest UPSC trends (like which color highlighter is luckier). Remember, knowledge is power, and who needs actual studying when you have a network of equally clueless friends?

Step 4: Mock Tests? More Like Mock Disasters.

Why waste precious time on those pesky mock tests when you can just wing it on the actual exam? Besides, who needs practice when you have blind faith in your “lucky charm” pen? Just remember, the tears you shed during the post-mortem analysis are a sign of emotional engagement, not impending failure.

Step 5: Embrace the Power of Last-Minute Magic.

Cramming the entire syllabus into the night before the exam? Genius! Who needs sleep when you have adrenaline and a prayer to the UPSC gods? Just remember, coffee is your best friend, and the panic attack is just a pre-exam ritual.